這 4 個問題別問外國人！台灣人最容易踩的社交地雷英文

情境對話 Dialogue

場景：Vivian 剛到美國分公司上班，午餐時想跟同事 Jack 拉近距離，結果一連串台灣式問題全踩雷。Jack 一邊尷尬一邊偷偷教她哪些不能問。

下次這樣說 Next Time

3 個社交現場直接拿來用的英文。台灣人最容易把「關心」問成「冒犯」，學會這幾句，敏感問題避開、安全話題接住。

重點單字 Vocabulary Boost

重點句型 Sentence Patterns

逐字稿 Transcript

J: Most people think being friendly means asking lots of questions. In some cultures, the friendliest thing you can do is ask fewer. I’m Jason, this is MJ English, and today we’re unpacking a trap that catches almost every Taiwanese person abroad — the questions that feel warm in Taiwan but land like a slap in the West.
J: 大多數人以為「友善」就是多問問題。但在某些文化裡，最友善的做法反而是少問。我是 Jason，這裡是 MJ English，今天我們要拆解一個幾乎每個台灣人到國外都會中的陷阱——那些在台灣很溫暖、在西方卻像一巴掌的問題。

M: I’m Mary. And the key word for today is taboo (禁忌) — a topic that society quietly agrees you just don’t bring up. Every culture has them, but the list is different. In Taiwan, asking someone’s age or salary is normal, even caring. In the US, those same questions can make a brand-new coworker freeze. Let’s follow Vivian, who walks straight into every landmine, and Jack, who defuses them one by one.
M: 我是 Mary。今天的關鍵字是 taboo（禁忌）——一個社會默契上「就是別提」的話題。每個文化都有，但清單不一樣。在台灣，問人年齡或薪水很正常，甚至是關心。在美國，同樣的問題會讓剛認識的同事僵住。我們來跟著 Vivian，她一路踩遍每顆地雷，還有 Jack，他一顆一顆幫她拆除。

J: Vivian opens with the classic — “How old are you? You look really young to be a manager.” In her head, that’s a compliment. Listen to how Jack handles it: “age is one of those things people here don’t ask straight out — it can come across as a little personal.” That phrase, come across as (給人…的感覺), is your gentlest correction tool. He doesn’t say “you’re rude.” He says the question comes across as personal. The blame lands on the question, not on Vivian.
J: Vivian 一開口就是經典款——”How old are you? You look really young to be a manager.”（你幾歲？你看起來很年輕，不像主管。）在她腦中，這是讚美。聽 Jack 怎麼接：「年齡是這裡的人不會直接問的事——it can come across as a little personal（會給人有點太私人的感覺）。」come across as（給人…的感覺）這個片語，是你最溫柔的糾正工具。他沒說「你很沒禮貌」。他說這個問題顯得太私人。矛頭對準問題，不對準 Vivian。

M: And notice why Vivian asks — “it’s how we figure out how to address someone politely.” That’s the real cultural root, and it’s worth understanding. Chinese has a built-in hierarchy of address — big brother, big sister, senior — so you genuinely need to know who’s older to be polite. English doesn’t have that. Everyone’s just “you.” So the question that’s practical and respectful in Taiwan has no function in English — which is exactly why it sounds like pure prying.
M: 注意 Vivian 為什麼問——「這是我們怎麼知道該如何禮貌稱呼對方。」這才是真正的文化根源，值得搞懂。中文有一套內建的稱謂階級——哥、姐、前輩——所以你真的需要知道誰比較年長才能禮貌。英文沒有。每個人都只是 “you”。所以這個在台灣既實用又尊重的問題，在英文裡毫無功能——這正是為什麼它聽起來像純粹的打探（prying）。

J: Then Vivian doubles down — “do you mind me asking what you make?” Two things here. First, “what you make” is the casual way to say “what’s your salary.” Second, the grammar gem — “do you mind me asking.” After mind, you use the -ing form: me asking, you telling. Not “to ask.” It’s a softening buffer, and it’s genuinely useful — but Jack’s reaction tells you it can’t rescue a true taboo: “Salary is pretty much taboo in American offices. Asking what someone makes really puts them on the spot.”
J: 然後 Vivian 變本加厲——”do you mind me asking what you make?”（你介意我問你薪水多少嗎？）這裡有兩點。第一，”what you make” 是口語版的「你薪水多少」。第二，文法寶石——”do you mind me asking”。mind 後面用 -ing 形式：me asking、you telling，不是 “to ask”。這是個軟化的緩衝句，真的很好用——但 Jack 的反應告訴你，它救不了真正的禁忌：「薪水在美國職場幾乎是 taboo（禁忌）。問別人賺多少 really puts them on the spot（讓人很下不了台）。」

M: “Put someone on the spot” (讓某人難堪) — picture a spotlight hitting you, everyone waiting. That’s the feeling of being asked your salary in front of people. And here’s the cultural flip Vivian names herself: “We compare salaries all the time back home.” True — in Taiwan, salary talk is how you benchmark, how you help friends negotiate. In the US, it’s the fastest way to make a room go quiet. Same information, opposite meaning.
M: “Put someone on the spot”（讓某人難堪）——想像一道聚光燈打在你身上，所有人都在等。那就是當眾被問薪水的感覺。而這裡有個 Vivian 自己點出的文化大反轉：「我們在台灣超愛比薪水的。」沒錯——在台灣，聊薪水是你拿來比較行情、幫朋友議價的方式。在美國，那是讓全場瞬間安靜最快的方法。一樣的資訊，相反的意義。

M: Vivian keeps going — “are you married? Any kids?” And Jack gives the deepest reason of the whole episode: “some people find it intrusive — you never know who’s going through something.” Intrusive (侵犯隱私的) is stronger than nosy; it means you’ve crossed a line. And “going through something” (正在經歷難關) is the gentle English way to say someone might be struggling — fertility, a breakup, a loss. The marriage-and-kids question can land on a wound you can’t see.
M: Vivian 繼續——”are you married? Any kids?”（你結婚了嗎？有小孩嗎？）Jack 給了整集最深的理由：「有些人會覺得 intrusive（被冒犯）——you never know who’s going through something（你永遠不知道誰正在經歷難關）。」Intrusive（侵犯隱私的）比 nosy 更強，意思是你越線了。而 “going through something”（正在經歷難關）是英文裡委婉表達「某人可能正在受苦」的說法——求子、分手、失去。婚姻跟小孩的問題，可能正好戳在你看不見的傷口上。

J: Then the cringe peak — Vivian realizes she told Megan “you’ve lost weight.” Jack’s line is gold: “even compliments about weight can backfire. ‘You’ve lost weight’ can sound like ‘you used to look worse.'” Backfire (適得其反) — your kind intention explodes in the wrong direction. In Taiwan, “你瘦了” is pure praise. In English, commenting on anyone’s body — up or down — is risky. The safe move Jack gives: just say she looks great. No numbers, no body, no comparison.
J: 接著是尷尬高峰——Vivian 發現她跟 Megan 說了「你瘦了」。Jack 的話是金句：「連稱讚體重都可能 backfire（適得其反）。『你瘦了』聽起來像『你以前比較難看』。」Backfire（適得其反）——你的好意往錯誤的方向爆炸。在台灣，「你瘦了」是純讚美。在英文裡，評論任何人的身材——變胖變瘦都一樣——都有風險。Jack 給的安全做法：直接說她氣色很好。不講數字、不講身材、不做比較。

M: By now Vivian’s panicking — “what CAN I ask? Every topic is a landmine!” And Jack delivers the whole philosophy in two sentences: “Stick to the safe zone — weekends, food, travel, shows, pets. Ask what people do, not what they are.” That’s the line to tattoo on your brain. Age, salary, marriage, weight — those are what people ARE. Weekends, food, travel — those are what people DO. Doing is safe. Being is dangerous.
M: 這時 Vivian 慌了——”what CAN I ask? Every topic is a landmine!”（我到底能問什麼？每個話題都是地雷！）Jack 用兩句話講完整套哲學：「守住安全區——週末、美食、旅遊、追劇、寵物。問對方『做什麼』，別問對方『是什麼』。」這句話要刺在腦子裡。年齡、薪水、婚姻、體重——那些是人「是什麼（what people ARE）」。週末、美食、旅遊——那些是人「做什麼（what people DO）」。問「做什麼」安全，問「是什麼」危險。

J: Let’s run the whole conversation again. This time, listen for the four landmines in order — age, salary, marriage, weight — and notice Jack never scolds. He explains, he gives the safe alternative, and he keeps it warm. That’s the real skill here: not just knowing what to avoid, but redirecting smoothly so nobody feels embarrassed. Listen for “come across as,” “touchy subject,” “puts them on the spot,” and that final rule — do, not are.
J: 我們把整段對話再跑一次。這次，照順序注意四顆地雷——年齡、薪水、婚姻、體重——並注意 Jack 從不責備。他解釋、給安全的替代方案、而且保持溫暖。這才是這裡真正的技巧：不只是知道要避開什麼，而是順暢地把話題導開，讓沒有人覺得尷尬。注意聽 “come across as”、”touchy subject”、”puts them on the spot”，還有最後那條原則——問「做什麼」，別問「是什麼」。

[DIALOGUE REPLAY]
[重播情境對話]

M: Hearing it again, you can see Vivian isn’t a bad person — she’s a warm person running Taiwanese software in an American room. That’s the whole point. These questions aren’t rude in some absolute way; they’re rude in this context. Move the same warmth to safe topics — “Any fun plans this weekend?” “Have you watched anything good lately?” — and that exact friendliness becomes your superpower instead of your problem.
M: 再聽一次，你會發現 Vivian 不是壞人——她是個溫暖的人，只是在美國的場合裡跑著台灣的軟體。這就是重點。這些問題不是在絕對意義上沒禮貌；它們是在「這個情境下」沒禮貌。把同樣的溫暖移到安全話題——「這週末有什麼好玩的計畫？」「最近有看什麼好看的嗎？」——那份一模一樣的友善，就會從你的問題變成你的超能力。

J: So your one job this week: catch yourself before the reflex question. When your brain reaches for “how old are you” or “are you married,” swap it for “what do you like to do on weekends.” When in doubt — and you remember Jack’s line — ask about their dog. It sounds like a joke. It’s the most reliable small-talk move on earth. Everything you need is in the notes below.
J: 所以你這週唯一的任務：在反射性的問題脫口而出前，先抓住自己。當你的腦袋伸手去拿「你幾歲」或「你結婚了嗎」，把它換成「你週末喜歡做什麼」。拿不定主意時——你記得 Jack 那句——就問對方的狗。聽起來像玩笑。它其實是地球上最可靠的閒聊招數。你需要的一切都在下方連結裡。

M: I’m Mary. Remember the one rule that replaces the whole list — ask what people do, not what they are. Get that, and you’ll never need to memorize a taboo list again.
M: 我是 Mary。記住那條可以取代整張清單的原則——問對方「做什麼」，別問對方「是什麼」。抓到這個，你就再也不用背禁忌清單了。

J: I’m Jason. Stay warm, stay curious — just aim it at the right targets. See you next time on MJ English.
J: 我是 Jason。保持溫暖、保持好奇——只要瞄準對的目標就好。下次 MJ English 再見。